Famiglia ? ...

Family ... quite an interesting subject ... In my distorted view, I had a good family even though my parents were divorced and NOT Christians (at least not to my knowledge). I have a younger brother Travis and an even younger sister Stefanie. Travis is 4 years younger. Stefanie is my sister from my dads 2nd marriage. To be completely honest ... I don't know how old Stefanie really is ... 23 maybe ? ... a mark of a wonderful brother. Stefanie unknowingly paid a price for my years of addiction. She is a GREAT kid and I love her dearly. How can I make up for 20 or so years of being an idiot ? ... Well, I can't change the past but, I can change the future to some extent. Travis is a different story. We have in one form or another ... lived together our entire lives. Him and his fiance Tracy have let rent from them. Let me be more specific about that ... when I was working ... I paid rent and when I wasn't ... they foot my bill. My addictions caused alot of grief and turmoil. The fact of the matter is that after repeatedly kicking me out they always took me back. This time I blew it. Tracy will probably never forgive me for things I said and did ... that's ok ... God is in the heart changing business and I will continue to pray for her. I am accepting the blame for the schism even though we all know that it takes 2 to tango ... in this case 3 ! I have forgiven, but, forgetting is not as easy as forgiving. And that is an ongoing process as well ... just when I think it's all good ... here comes a 'lil bit of hidden bitterness that must be dealt with.
Mom did the best she knew how to ... she was of the tough love school. I am now greatful that she subscribed to that mindset. I am glad that she never gave me money when I didn't need it. I know now that EVERYTHING Ma did was her way of loving me. I thank God for her daily and believe that she will be saved.
Dad may have been saved ... cause I remember Pastor mentioning him coming up to the altar during one sermon. I guess we'll see when I get there myself
I think we're all gonna be surprised when we all get to heaven. Only God knows the heart.