Good Grief ... Happy Halloween

Today was exceedingly rough ... w/o the Lord I would have blown it. I made payment arrangements with the bank and ... WOW ! Try to do something right and it just seems to keep getting steeper and steeper. I sometimes wanna just give up ... then I think back to Tres Dias ... and what God is wanting to do in my life ... and MAN can that be a trial sometimes. I find myself repeating scripture ... (KJV)"I believe ... help thou mine unbelief". I believe ... yet I doubt ... Oh wretched man that I am.
The new devotional book is going good. . Below are the summary statements and my take on them.
1. God reveals what He is about to do. Moses must have spent an incredible amount of time in prayer ... to actually discern the voice of God ... How could he be sure it wasn't gas ? ... Sure ... hindsight is 20/20 and the writer of Hebrews portrays him as an incredible man of faith. I wonder ? ...
2. The revelation becomes an invitation to join him. I sometimes wonder when these guys who write these books have time to spend time with God. Where do they get this stuff ? ... All I know right now is that ... I percieve ... and I guess I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be right now. Not looking for a job right now ... I feel like a bum, but yet I have a peace about not looking for one ? ... go figure ? .. IWhat God is doing hasn't been revealed to me as of late (#1) and I am waiting for # 2
3. I can't stay the way I am and go with God. Well, something I do actually have a grip on ... I seek His guidance for change every day. I am stubborn, self-centered, childish and judgemental. I know that I need to be Christlike, but sometimes I just wanna lash out and say what I really think ... I don't , ... but, ... I still think these things. I know that this a lifelong process. I sometimes just want to say to heck with it and just go back to contracting ... but, ... I DO know that that's not it either ... MAN ! And that leads me to #4.
4. He is able to do anything He pleases with one ordinary person fully consecrated to Him. The example here was Elijah. Now from scripture I don't see anything ordinary about him. I can't remember the scripture they used in the book ... well, ... I AM ordinary God ... use me ! I say that I'm consecrated to him, but my actions/thought processes say otherwise ? ... Man, can I relate to Romans 7:15
5. God's standards of excellence are different from mans. 1Cor 1:26-31. I am foolish, I am weak ... use me Lord !

Travis emailed me back. Thank you Jesus ! I miss him and the "famiglia". He knows that is best for all of us. I was just happy to hear from him. He is using Jesus' name ... and it wasn't in a curse. He is answering my prayers ... I believe my "household" will be saved Acts 16:31