What the ? ...

My Ma seems to be getting a bit better each day. I am getting more and more confused. My Ma's heart has 5 things seriously wrong with it. Her lungs are in grave condition. She is not a candidate for any kind of surgery. I cannot figure out what to do. In one portion of Scripture Jesus himself says "Let the dead bury the dead." and then in first Timothy it says that "those who don't care for their family are worse than unbelievers." Both are loosely transliterated by myself. I know that God has been preparing me for something for the last 2 years ... is this that something ? ... My brother hasn't shown his face but has started saying crap as usual. Do I want to be here in Milwaukee right now ? ... Yes and no. I am putting into action what I personally believe that I should be doing according to the Scripture. No 'cause I consider Milwaukeee to by a type of Egypt.
I had an appointment for a couple of my past demons but, had to reschedule 'till next Wednesday.
I thought that I knew exactly what the future held. I thought that I was going to be the next director of Teen Challenge of St Louis. I thought that I would never return to Milwaukee except for a funeral or two. I thought that I had met my future life partner. I thought that I was going to retire at STL TC. I thought that I had it all figured out until this last week. The only thing I have really figured out is:God loves me and will continue to love me no matter what decision I make.
If anyone reads this ... Pray for me.