The Struggle

I don't know what it is with me lately. I have a tendency to flirt with disaster. The scriptures tell me that the call is irrevocable an yet I still struggle being in full-time ministry. What it boils down to is this:I am selfish and greedy. For the better part of my life ... I pissed my money away on drugs and booze. Now that I don't do the drugs or booze I'd like to have a few "things".
I don't play well with others. I have always in one way, shape or form ... been the boss or somewhere up the authority structure. I am not the boss here.
No-one can serve 2 masters. The spirit desires to serve Him. The flesh wants money, money and more money.