Contentment

I have to admit that I am learning contentment. I, like Paul, am "learning" to be content with the situation that I basically engineered. Let me explain. The gospel message was delivered to me many years ago and I chose to ignore it. I was in full time ministry and instead of dealing with an issue or two (hundred !) I ran like Jonah. I am face first with one of the two issues that I ran from 11 years ago. In my last post I talked about being a servant (more like whined !) I struggle daily with the same thing. Am I gonna serve Him or am I gonna serve myself ? After I listen to Him ... I am quite content to be right where I am. When I get feeling selfish ... I have my bags packed. The question I really have to ask myself is this:Where am I running to ? I cannot run anymore from God when I take into consideration all the things that have been happening in the last year. I can be foolish but I'm definitely not a fool. I may not be rich according to this worlds standards. Who cares ? ... I don't need a bunch of toys to prove anything. I am in the process of paying off ALL the bills from my past on a salary that I would've once laughed at. To be more specific ... what I make in a month ... I used to make in a few hours !
Here's the clincher ... I am OK with that ! The bills are getting paid and ALL of my needs are being met. The only thing I lack right now is a helpmeet and I trust one is on the way or He will ? ... change those desires in me ? ... I dunno ?
Now that I've mentioned a lady ... that was the other issue I ran from. When I was here before I didn't take too kindly to being rejected by not only one, but, two gals from church. I guess the difference is that now ... it's not my primary focus ... sure it'd be nice to be able to be intimate with someone of the opposite sex ... I am NOT talking about sex here either ! I'm talking about sharing hurts and dreams, getting to tell someone how I really feel (besides the Lord).
I am not bound by legalism !

"The letter kills but the Spirit gives life."