Moving

I will no longer be using Blogger. For updates check out my Twitter page.

Twisted

I posted this a while ago. Feelings/Emotions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYtw11qBzNY
i don’t make everyone happy…..but it’s ok….it’s ok i’ve been through this before it’s nothing new…nothing new i don’t know why every time i wanna fly somebody always tries to hold me down….hold me down…i’m losing my faith every single time…i try no one is on my side don’t let me drown…let me drown
don’t worry about whatcha done now cause it’s ok…it’s ok...yeah, yeah it’s a test to see how much you can take…it’s nothin new…i don’t know why every time i wanna fly somebody always triesto hold me down….hold me down…i’m losing my faith every single time…i try no one is on my side don’t let me drown…let me drown i am drowning…i am sinking….yeah
i am drowning…i am sinking….yeah why won’t someone help me why won’t someone help me.
the psyche wants to believe the lie, while the spirit wants to hear Obsession by David Crowder
The inner struggle famishes me.

Lord I believe, help thou mine unbelief

Back On Track

For those that are concerned ... I am officially back online. I am also back to work. Back to the grind of flooring. It has been approximately 2 weeks and my body is sore as heck. After sitting behind a desk for better than a year ... my body is finally getting acclimated to physical labor. Since I have been back to work I have just been too tired to go to the library to get internet access. Today I bought a Cricket phone and their broadband service. Not a bad deal either. I get unlimited phone and broadband for 70 bucks a month.

Alive-N-Kicking

After a brief hiatus from blogging ... I am back. None the worse either. The job search is depressing right now. I have sent out at lest 50 resumes with only 1 interview and 1 call. This is quite strange to me ... not working and all.
I should be moving into my new apartment in a few weeks.
The condemnation sometimes gets frustrating. Another restoration is not in the plan. At 44 I have decided to face my situation head first. The journey may be long but God is with me all the way.

Worship Experience ...

... was last nite and it was wonderful! Kevin called me earlier in the day an asked if he could borrow my ear. Of course I said yes. I got there about 5:30. The worship team was Kevin, John, Matt and Aaron. They did great. Justin did the powerpoint and I ran sound. I am thankful for the church family that I have. It was nice to see Tom and his wife. I talked to (pastor) Tom for a minute. He asked how the job hunt is going.

Unemployment Time

I am unemployed and employed at the same time ... go figure. I am on-call for one more week at TC. Jayme has a list of stuff for me over at the womens center. I will go ever there tomorrow morning. I got hired at a local snow removal company. I am on-call there too. I am praying for a on-site maintenance position at a local real estate company. That would really smooth out the rough edges right now.

My God shall supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Ch ch ch ch ch ch ch Changes ...

... on friday january the sixteenth I got a call to meet Judy at El Greco's. I had this distinct feeling that something bad was gonna happen. Inwardly I knew that I was going to be released from my job. I got to her office after waiting at El Greco's for 10 minutes. She told me that they were accepting my verbal resignation. I told her that I did not officially resign and she looked at me funny and scribbled some notes on her notepad. We started going over COBRA details and the like. I guess that I am finally getting my wish. For the most part ... I have not liked my employer from the get-go. I love what I did and excelled at it. I was able to take a pretty messed-up business and turn it into a completely legitimate and law abiding business.
The words of one of my favorite Keith Green songs resound clear as a bell ... "and if you've been burned here's what I've learned ... the Lord's not the one to blame." Despite all my confusion I still believe that God is in control. There can be many things learned here. I need to remain positive.
I will never leave you or forsake you.

Tis The Season Pt II

It's official ... I lost the incentive check. That equals anywhere between two and four hundred dollars a month. If I were as Job I would say ... "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away ... blessed be the name of the Lord." I am not Job. At this juncture I will just say nothing. I will, however, pray and ask Him what I an supposed to learn here. 

One part accepts it and the other part screams for vengeance. I can and will only take it one day at a time. Only His grace will take me through this.

Tis The Season ...

 ... to be growin' fa la la la la la la la la ! Well ! ... let's just start out the year with a big fat trial. I am no longer the operations manager at the ADP. I have a new title. I am now the operations supervisor. I am in charge of all the buildings, maintenance and I get to take the guys flyering every day in the afternoons. I didn't ask for the new job. It was thrust on me. No choice on my part. Initially they said I was going to lose my ADP incentive. It's all in the air. I am left hanging. I am going to need alot of grace to deal with all this unexpected change.

Trials and Tribulations for the New Year

There's storm clouds on the horizon. If anyone reads this ... Please pray for me. There are things going on right now that I am not able to mention here on this forum. I fear for my job ... if I have one at all.

"I will never leave you or forsake you"

Christmas ...

... was pretty much the same this year. Yia Yia took the entire family out to eat at Layton
Gardens. After brunch we went to Kevin and Carrie's. There was drinks and snacks. We looked at a bunch of pictures from the cruise. Craig and Mike had 600. There wasn't the usual craziness with presents ... whew ... what a relief ! I opened mine at Ma's and I gave Yia Yia a card with money in it ... I got hollered at !
Everyone is Catholic. Many would call them unsaved. I don't. They believe in Jesus and that he died and rose from the dead for their sins. They believe and confess. According to Romans 10:9,10 that makes them believers. There is so much division amongst christians that it makes me ill. Why can't we just all get along ?
Jesus is the reason for the season !
Lucy was pretty good for a puppy. I am glad that Nereus and Katie picked her up last night. I'll stick with snakes ans spiders ... much easier !

Paul Harvey says ...

 ...

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in D ecember. I don't agree with Darwin , but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his Theory of Evolution

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game.

So what' s the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue.

Yes, and this is the United States of A merica , a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect -

somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem , I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I w ent to a soccer game in Baghdad , I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China , I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended.
It wouldn't bother me one bit.
When in Rome .

But what about the atheists? Is another argument.

What about them?
Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!

Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating; to pray before we go to sleep.

Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us.
And if that last s entence offends you, well ... just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority doesn't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray; you don't have to say the pledge of allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right . But b y golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back.
and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... especially those who denounce Him, God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all.

God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.



2008 will be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions ... and our Military come home from all the wars.

Keep looking up.

Old Man Winter

We've made it through the first round of snow storms in Milwaukee. The first wasn't even a big deal except for traffic reasons. The second one dumped close to a foot in the surrounding area. It was wet, heavy and deep. It took me a half hour to get my car out.
Yesterday I went on my first solo photo & video shoot. It was for a kid's birthday. All in all it went well for my first time. Peter was happy with the camera work. He says each time that I go out I am getting better at my camera work. 2 hours work ... 100 bucks ... which means 100 off my Mac debt. I am getting more confident. I need to use a few more tools taking video. One being the "interview." Getting a story going for the video. Involving more of the poeple in the video. Composing group photos with kids is a bummer. There were around 25 kids squirming and moving.
God's grace was, is and will be sufficient.

Jesus Is The Reason

 Jesus is Better than Santa

Santa lives at the North Pole.

JESUS is everywhere.

Santa rides in a sleigh

JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

Santa comes but once a year

JESUS is an ever present help.

Santa fills your stockings with goodies

JESUS supplies all your needs.

Santa comes down your chimney uninvited

JESUS stands at your door and knocks..

And then enters your heart.

You have to stand in line to see Santa

JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

Santa lets you sit on his lap

JESUS lets you rest in His arms.

Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is

"Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"

JESUS knew our name before we did.

Not only does He know our name,

He knows our address too.

He knows our history and future and He

even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly

JESUS has a heart full of love.

All Santa can offer is HO HO HO

JESUS offers health, help and hope.

Santa says "You better not cry"

JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me

for I care for you.

Santa's little helpers make toys

JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts,

repairs broken homes and builds mansions.

Santa may make you chuckle but

JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.

While Santa puts gifts under your tree

JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.

It's obvious there is really no comparison.

We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.

We need to put Christ back in Christmas.

Jesus is still the reason for the season.

May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and

your loved ones this Christmas 2008

And may He prosper and bless the work

of your hands in the New Year. 

Athiests Holiday

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the Easter & Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews & observances of their holy days. The argument was, it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized day(s). The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer,the judge banged his gavel declaring, 'Case dismissed.' The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter & others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur & Hanukkah. Yet my client & all other atheists have no such holidays.' The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, 'But you do. Your client,counsel, is woefully ignorant.' The lawyer said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.'

The judge said, 'The calendar says April 1st is 'April Fools Day.' Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.

Si Senor !

Tom, as usual, preached another good one. Tough one but good nonetheless. In light of what God did for us ... we shouldn't worry about what goes on around us. When you take into consideration what the first century christians were going through at the time ... nothing should really bother me but, ... it does. Sometimes I feel so unspiritual. I realize that spirituality isn't a feeling. Feelings are deceptive and also too closely tied to emotions ... duhhh ? ...

Last night was a nightmare as far as sound is concerned. It took me quite a while to get the circuitry figured for the lights. I only ran one-third of the show. I think I'll  try to do the whole show. The show minus the side-fills stinks. Laura came last night. She came over and talked to me for quite a while. I am becoming quite infatuated with her. I feel just like a pimpley 15 year old kid. I've never been a ladies man. She seems attracted to me and it's gotta be written all over my face whenever she's around. I ain't nervous but, I feel flush when I am anywhere near her ... including when I go to the shop. The smell of dogs makes me physically sick but I am drawn to go into the grooming area and smile at her. I think I said it before ... she is everything I am not. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me or ... not. I have frittered away most of my life. What would an impressionable lady see in me ? I don't have a pot to pi$$ in or a window to throw it out of.

Then there's that gal at church who I'm afraid of. We looked each other dead in the eye this morning but when it came time for fellowship ... we both ran in opposite directions. Maybe it's my imagination. I am preoccupied with having a partner ... then on the other hand I think about the last sentence of the last paragraph.

Tomorrow brings new mercies.

Christianity ? ...

In the last year I have witnessed another side of christianity. It is not pleasant. If I had to compare it with something know to many ... I would have to compare it to the crusades. Filled with lies, bigotry, hatred and double-standards. I sometimes wonder what I am supposed to be learning here ... or if I am missing the boat altogether. I found out today that I will get no raise, no bonus and have been taken out of the loop at the workplace. I can sign nothing. I still have a job ... or I could be considered to be a babysitter. I have no authority but, all the responsibility lies on my shoulders. I believe I did the right thing by coming back here to care for my Ma. I also believe that I made a huge mistake by taking a position with the company that I now work.
There are so many questions that I ask Him on a daily basis but, seem to get no answer.
I am at the end of my rope ... so I will tie a knot and try to hang on.
for it is by grace that you have been saved and this not from yourself ... it is the gift of God ... so that no-one can boast

A Big Pile of S ...

 ...snow ! We've gotten close to 6 inches of wet sloppy mess. Things seemed to work out with my boss. Neither of us can afford any mistakes. It all seems to work out in the end. At the last 2 staff meetings Craig alluded to being short on money. Last year at the same time they let 2 people go. We will see what happens. Whatever happens ... I have to believe that God is in control ... in spite of what man does. I have seen stuff this year that really shouldn't surprise me but, it does.

Lord I believe ... help thou mine unbelief !

I started working on my christmas project last night. It is going pretty good. Figuring out the new software and new platform is a bit hard. I will produce the dvd project and the burn it to dvd at the studio. Finding all the pictures is half the battle. I have files on 4 different computers.

Wednesday ...

... a typical wednesday ... last minute garbage. Tim came to me yesterday about a serious situation with leadership. I told Tim that I couldn't tell him what to do but, I told him what not to do. It is really a sticky situation. I don't know how to address it ... or if I should address it at all. I want to believe that God is big enough to already know what the outcome is.
Another issue with a re-entry student. It's a dismissable offense. I believe in grace with accountability.
Craig called Alvin the other day and asked what I do. I wonder if they are planning to have a student do my work and letting me go ? ... Hmmmm ? ... Makes me think. We will see.

Black Friday ? ...

... That's only if your are foolish enough to go shopping on that particular day. I spent the day reworking two racks. We ate twice and gave each other a whole bunch of crap. We probably drove Kari nuts all night.
Me and Ma went to the Bluemound Gardens for thanksgiving. She had duck and I had Souvlaki ... shishkabobs for the non-greek speaker. Travis called Ma after I dropped her off. I am glad and apprehensive at the same time. Maybe we will see them and the kids. I am not holding my breath ... I miss them and the kids but, am wary of somekind of drama.
We are doing a wedding tonight so it will be an early one.
After posting the pictures of the last Kiko's gig I realized that I am totally attracted to Laura. She is everything I am not ... stable, fantastic with money and quiet. Could she be the right one ? I got the feeling she was interested when I was sealing the asphalt at he studio. We'll see ... I am going to maybe ask her out to dinner or a movie. I feel like a 15 year old and sick to my stomach about the whole thing.