Insanity ? ...

... is doing the same thing expecting different results. As Paul stated in Romans 7:15 "I do the things that I don't want to do but, the things I want to do, I don't." It is a dilemma that has plagued man since the fall. I love the Lord but, on the other hand, my actions dictate exactly the opposite. Paul also talked about grace. Where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. I have to wonder ... just where does the reprobate mind come into play ?
My only refuge seems to be listening to the David Crowder Band and other christian music ... all the while feeling totally guilty because of my actions. Why do I do the things that I do ?
The entire congregation knows my story and I only told one person ... my pastor. The hypocrisy in the body of believers blows me away. Many christians do exactly the opposite of what the Word says ... they shoot their wounded. I made a grievous mistake and was thrown out on my a$$. If things go right ... I should be moving into my new apartment next week. Josh, my old roomie, will have an empty apartment ... not to mention ... it will be a disaster area. I can only imagine what the foyer looks like. I swept and hand washed it once a week for the last year.
What remains is the fact that I still subscribe to the what Keith Green said. "And if you've been burned here's what I've learned, the Lord's not the one to blame."
None of the people that I thought were my friends at work have even called me. I have to wonder ... were they my friends at all ? ...
I think I may be better off in a mainline denomination where people are who they are and there is no pretension.